In Retrospect

 

 

Reading journal entries from last year, and my, oh my, how things have changed. Thirteen months ago, I lamented joblessness, the friendzone, ghosts of friends past, nihilism and more. Topics of this blog would crop up regularly–what I was doing, what was up with the name, was it even worth posting on? I’d feel bouts of intense doubt over having started yet another blog (I forget that my photo blog was still up at the time)

15: WHEN LIFE is grey and routine you find a way through the parking lots. skip skip skip- to imagination land
18: when everything crowds out your senses/makes you stumble and cry, you miss the parking lots. skip skip skip: this time to nowhere.

Needless to say, things have changed. This summer, I’m working at a place I like with co-workers I like while doing tasks I like (as a writer!) My relationships haven’t changed drastically, save for some here or there (understatement). Nihilism is no longer something that hangs over my head like a blinding white cloud on a maddeningly slow summer day. And this blog has somehow transformed itself into a pulsating creative outlet on a bustling writing community that I’m happy to have joined.

I also feel differently this year than I did last year–less angsty, less nihilistic, less rambly and sleepy and sad. You know the kind of tiredness that washes over you when you’ve been on the road for too long and the sun’s beating down on your neck? when time hovers wiggly in the air, making heat waves of exhaustion? That was last summer.

This summer feels more like morning coffees, co-worker chit-chat, snuggles post errand-running, city explorations. It feels like every summer redoing itself to get things right, just right, this time. It’s summer 2015 balancing out work-and-life, summer 2014 knotting relationships together, summer 2016 erasing its own sense of meaninglessness.

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6 thoughts on “In Retrospect

  1. Misfit Vinegaroon July 22, 2017 / 1:44 am

    It’s amazing how quickly things can turn around. Glad you’ve found some inner peace and happiness!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Michael Raqim Mira July 22, 2017 / 2:24 pm

    I like it when you write these types of posts. Keep it up.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. mich1202 July 22, 2017 / 6:17 pm

    super happy for you! hopefully i’ll be at a point where reading past journal entries make me feel that way too

    Liked by 2 people

  4. chasingsakina July 23, 2017 / 6:35 am

    I loved how much more happier and at peace you sounded without even having to state it. I hope your future holds many more adventures and delights. I hope the journey ahead which you continue to embark upon, treats you well ~

    I loved your update and could relate on many levels as well. Change is inevitable but the good kind, is extremely precious ~

    Liked by 2 people

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