Photographed this about three years ago. I miss New York and all its lights; I’ve been itching to visit for the past year or so. In my general consumption of rom-com movies–always based in NYC (of course) and around Christmas (yes), Christmas lights, in particular, have become somewhat of a myth.
So I’m going back soon–for the sixth time!–this time to see the Christmas lights!
A photographic love funk.
What happened to your camera?
You know how you’ll be infatuated with a person and wake up one day and realize you just don’t feel the same anymore? That’s been me and my camera. I just haven’t felt the same.
Patiently waiting to fall back in love.
A broken Mac battery, a confiscated iPhone, starved heart.
It’s seven in the morning here.
Talking to you is like nibbling on a piece of quiche. Except I am starved. And my appetite is barely whet.
Weirdness a lá relief.
I wish I could go to GameStop.
Oh, I can go to GameStop and photograph the whole store and send it to you!
Most of the time I’ll let my weirdness, like air, seep out squeaky-high through the small opening of a balloon that is me. Being back is like letting it all escape from this significantly enlarged valve. Weirdness! Is! Liberation!
“I like you; your eyes are full of language.”
[Letter to Anne Clarke, July 3, 1964.]”
Of all the relationships in my life, the “wya”–where you at?–relationships are my absolute favorites. wya. Out of work, let’s get dinner? wya. Just got lunch, headed back home. wya. About to run errands, come with? wya. Near Starbucks, join.
Simple blue whale-tailed bubble, three lower-cased words, demarcation of easy closeness, comfort candidness. It conveys the message that: being with you is as it is being by myself. And: I like you enough; I don’t have to try around you.
With most people, you have to make plans. Peer at your calendar, set a date, time, and place. Do this all days in advance. It’s a delicate social dance. Some people are, well, more of a headache to make plans with; it feels obligatory or it’s a back-and-forth game of swerve! or, whatever it is, just feels like work. A lot of people are at the in-between, where they’re still plugged into the schedule, it’s not too difficult to spend time with them, but it’s not as easy as, you know, the wya relationships.
For just a few people in the world, and there don’t have to be many, I can shoot out a quick wya test–no plans, no pretense. There’s a quote that goes, I’ll only have you if you’re sweeter than my solitude. Hints at romance, but it doesn’t have to be. I’d say that these wya relationships are just as sweet as, if not more than, solitude.
“you know what i thought of the other day?
our childhoods are for our parents
they remember our first steps
they remember what we liked and what we didn’t like
they remember what we ate, what we didn’t eat
they’re their memories to have,
as you grow older
your life becomes yours
but when we were younger
it was once theirs.”
– april 23rd, 2015 | 4:08 pm
Something my best friend said to me a few years ago.
Psychedelic Poise, a watercolor portrait time-lapse
when the lights gazed down
for our attention and petals fell
rain-streaked you tied a ribbon around my
waist before we sank in a sea of swimming bodies
streaks of sunrise flushed
in our cheeks