Meta | Journal

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Le beau (yes, pronounced ‘la bo,’ and I said la beu for clarification) stumbled upon my blog last night. Well, I had given him a link to one article I thought he’d read–not the entire blog!

For context, this digital blog barely crosses over into my real life, if at all. I don’t mention it to my friends, family, or, until recently, boyfriend, and I certainly don’t share it on social media. It’s just weird. The cross between real life and digital blogspace is like that one episode from Fairly Odd Parents when Timmy Turner leaps into Jimmy Neutron’s world. Timmy goes from being a flat animated cartoon to a well-shadowed 3D character. It’s jarring. The worlds–they’re different, but not entirely.

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When la beau first told me he’d read my blog, I sweated profusely. “Why’re you rolling down the windows? It’s 30 degrees,” he said.

“This conversation is making me warm,” I said.

I’m okay with people, in general, reading these little creative outbursts or blurbs, but it feels strange when I know them. So if I know you in real life, do me a favor, please don’t tell me you read my blog and then proceed to quote some of your favorite posts. Because le beau did this. All day. I’d forgotten I’d even written some of these blurbs. 

“You’re 18 books away from completing your 100 Books Challenge.”

“Math is a house filled with nooks and crannies. I read that on your blog. Remember that post?”

“That poem, bad cliffhangers, I didn’t really understand that one.”

“I saw the one from August 2017, and I was like aw, the quote from Winnie the Pooh.”

“I liked the post where you felt happy with the people in your life.”

“I was looking for cameos. I’d just sort of pop in and out. Also, I was referred to as le beau! Ha-ha. Clever.”

He also mentioned some kind fellow bloggers. Some would extend hugs in murky times and others would simply be there. I think of Monika, TheWayFarer, Shahirah, Kendall, Connie, E.L, Robert V., Zheng Fan….so hello, if you’re reading this! And if not, I’ll figure out how to make proper mentions one day. I send my greetings to the blogaverse.

Le beau also asked a good question about how I’ll sometimes end a post with a different time than the time stamp. The lower date is when the post was written. I’ll often tweak and edit previous posts from times I’d write more (read: random creative bursts or sad bubbles). This ties in with my last journal post about being more prolific when I’m depressed, and writing less when I’m happy. So when I’m happy (the past 2 years), I’ll revisit older posts in notes/docs from sadder, but more prolific, days.

12 hours later from our warm conversation about my blog, I feel a little less weird. Everything feels a little more meta than usual, reflecting on this blog and readers and whatnot.


4 thoughts on “Meta | Journal

  1. The Wayfarer December 12, 2018 / 4:45 am

    I also don’t really tell people in my real life about my blog! I don’t know why, there’s nothing particularly personal about on my blog, but I’ve always felt insecure about people I know in real life reading my writing.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. curious•pondering December 13, 2018 / 1:28 am

    Thanks for the mention, haha! Only one person knows of my blog and I still get nervous about it! Despite the internet being absolutely public, my blog is more private and personal. Maybe he will be inspired to blog…or continue as your fan 🤔 🙂


  3. Zheng Fan Minimalist December 14, 2018 / 9:15 am

    I wish both of you lots of happiness and bliss


  4. Monika December 20, 2018 / 10:32 am

    ohh i love meta-posts! 😀 it’s really interesting for me to see how other bloggers deal with their blog in their private life, as in whether they share it with people they know. i’m quite surprised to read that you don’t, for some reason i thought you did!

    it’s taken a while (and lots of struggle) but i’ve got used to having my blog accessible for whoever knows me and wants to check it out (family, friends, acquaintances, classmates, teachers, …). at the beginning it had a negative impact on my writing, now i’ve finally got over it. and luckily i feel like the good outweighs the bad 🙂

    anyways, i thought the comments your boyfriend made were really cute (but i understand why you felt the way you did) ❤


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