It appears that I’ve been blogging. I haven’t.
I haven’t touched this platform in about a month. But sometime in early September, I decided I would schedule out my film posts. At the time, I thought December was far out – February would take a long time to get here. And now here we are, almost halfway through January. I never thought 2021 was going to be markedly better than 2020, but I was hoping it wouldn’t be worse. Maybe it was naïvete. Wry optimism.
But I won’t look ahead, behind, or anywhere. Except at this faintly blue screen. I got lost in sorting the laundry today. Lost in my thoughts. There’s something so soothing about pairing socks up together. Finding the ones that match. Mindless focus. You drift and you drift. You drift comfortably and forget where you are.
I need to read Pachinko. I checked out the book once and then it was overdue so I returned it, but by the time I returned it, I realized that I liked it. But I didn’t want to get fined $200 again, so I returned it. Then I checked it out again. A few months later. The books are still in my car, disinfecting, presumably, but mostly forgotten. I need to get the book out tomorrow.
Not until I’m through the six–yes, six–meetings I have tomorrow. I’ve come to realize that virtual meetings are the new illusion of productivity. Whereas before, the illusion of productivity was showing up to work. Now, it’s showing up to endless virtual meetings. It makes you wonder how anything gets done when everyone’s perpetually in meetings. They meet and meet and meet and meet. It wasn’t just that one organization–it’s all of them. Think of all the wasted money and productivity on excess meetings… it’s marvelous to…marvel at.
And graduate classes kick back up in a week. Ho, hum.
When I’m in a pleasant mood, there are all sorts of creative things I want to do. I want to draw. I want to shoot film. I want to share film. I want to write. I want to read. But when I’m not feeling pleasant, it’s shrinking into a–a–coral. A shrunken coral at the bottom of the ocean.
I must be in a pleasant mood, then, because now I want to do creative things. Maybe it’s just the WordPress effect. I’m here, I’m talking, I want to share.
Drift with me…
January 13th, 2021