Discovering Dishes

In early April, we took  (yet another) spontaneous road trip. The drive over was smooth. The weather was perfect. Sunshine and teal skies. Microsoft screensaver clouds and a cool breeze. I was our Spotify DJ, my usual responsibility. I hopped from one genre to another, trying to -catch- a vibe. On my 90’s playlist, Wannabe … More Discovering Dishes

B&W Film

I photographed strangers, artwork, puppies, toys, store fronts, adults on small trains, humans wearing felt panda heads. It was then that I realized: there is so much whimsicalness in the world. So much strangeness and beauty. I began to shift my perception, seeing my surroundings in blacks and whites, hues and gradients, shadows and bright spots. … More B&W Film

Repeating Numbers

Happy 2/22/22! Thought I’d repost this from last Fall. In 2011, I also blog-commemorated the date, although I’d never been attacked by repeating numbers until most recently. For the record, it stopped around December. All’s well ends well. Right before we went on our road trip for the 4th, I started noticing something weird: repeating … More Repeating Numbers

Vivid

We were at the bookstore yesterday, in the corner by the back of the tables, where I read Unaccustomed Earth by Jhumpa Lahiri. I was surprised by how drawn I was to the story, situated in Boston, and I was surprised by how vivid the scenes were. They reminded me of Pennsylvania, the suburbs on … More Vivid

Slithering Subconscious

The interesting part, to me, is that when it comes to psychological mechanisms – like the subconscious or defensiveness or cyclical patterns of trauma – is how they occur under the surface, seemingly undetected, causing destruction later on. It’s like an eel slithering under a layer of frozen water. The eel slithers around – slither, … More Slithering Subconscious

Accidental Date II

The best dates are accidental – the bookstore/coffeeshop you didn’t expect, the historic square you didn’t anticipate, the flea market you didn’t know about. Today had all three – the bookstore/coffeeshop, the historic square, the flea market. I had an itch to go somewhere, maybe a bookstore or coffeeshop, preferably somewhere with space, parking, novelties, … More Accidental Date II

On Long Distance

Sometimes I forget I was in a long distance relationship. I never mentioned it on my blog, despite having blogged throughout it all. I kept it vague, since it seemed personal. But since it’s in the past, it’s more of something I peer at curiously. Until now, I haven’t made a peep about it, but … More On Long Distance

Déjà Vu

Le beau took me to the unpaved trail by the lake. When our bikes hit the loose gravel, I was reminded of the time we went off-roading in Colorado. On the trail, my legs burned. It was up, up, up, and then down. And then back up. We then turned back around, where I felt … More Déjà Vu

The Morning

Like a two year old, I’m starting to re-marvel at the mind, and how the people around us can only infer so much from the things we deliberately say. It’s like that quote from Murakami I always circle back to, whenever I feel tired or misunderstood or whatever: “I sometimes think that people’s hearts are like deep wells. Nobody knows what’s at the bottom. All you can do is imagine by what comes floating to the surface every once in a while.” … More The Morning

Daily Blog #474 : Of writing and telling people too much

I suppose in the end it’s a desperate struggle to make room for yourself in this world, by leaving behind stories, hoping they’ll suffice and be able to construct a near perfect image of our souls. A carbon dating for the experiences we’ll have buried. It’s terrifying, the yawning void. I used to be scared … More Daily Blog #474 : Of writing and telling people too much

The One Where We Get Lost In The Woods And Stuck On A Steep Backroads Dirt Mound In The Middle Of A Storm

There’s an upper level to ruggedness. We all have one. Well. I hit mine today when we veered off the boulder-infested roads, dipped into a steep hill, sped manically through unpaved meadow, plowed on forward towards another steep hill, faced an intimidatingly 90 degrees towards the cloudy skies, and found ourselves staring at the physically insurmountable mound of dirt, unable to move forwards or back. … More The One Where We Get Lost In The Woods And Stuck On A Steep Backroads Dirt Mound In The Middle Of A Storm

Train Station

In a half awake haze, I saw myself sitting at a train station. It looked like the train station on 34st. I was sitting on the train bench outside, waiting for the train to arrive. Waiting and waiting. So I waited and waited and waited and waited. At some point, though, I realized that the … More Train Station

Whim

As I laid there, pretending to sleep, I realized that the best decisions of my life were all impulsive. Done on a whim. A day before, I would never have imagined that I’d do what I did, but I did. Without any planning. Without any rational. And yet it’d shape up to be one of … More Whim

Cherub

I’m like a small crying cherub filled with helium always on the verge of flying into the clouds and as if I’m on a string le beau will pull me down and remind me to be here with me now

Waiting

I dreamt I was waiting with my friends in a crowded tower. It reminded me of Sunday school. The feeling of waiting, the fear of your parents maybe not showing up. The cold rain and bleak quiet of waiting beside the principal. The relief when dad finally showed up. Something at work. Machine broke down. … More Waiting

Snapshot

If you could take a snapshot of a moment, here’s what you might see. Two sleeping guinea pigs, blissfuly oblivious to the din and movement around them. Latin music blubbering jovial through Spotify on our little blue speaker. Smell of steak butter rising thick into the air, dissipating into lake air, open windows.

King’s Cross

At 2:22 AM, the conclusion was that everything is okay. Everything is okay. Of course. When has anything been anything other than okay? I remind myself that this isn’t real, this isn’t real. That the things in our minds – they’re not real. And yet it can feel so real. Sometimes this reminder brings me … More King’s Cross