After seeing my laborious, painstaking film scanning set up, my boyfriend surprised me with a fancy Epson film photo scanner today. I told him not to, said I was perfectly fine with my setup, bragged about it a few times to convince him (mostly me) that it wasn’t an incredibly tedious process . Then I came home to the package in my home, massive and grey and labeled Epson. Oh my god, Epson–that Epson. The Epson. Epson is known for its scanners.
So now I am scanning my film. I spend class time scrolling through film, contemplate film, shoot film, look up film accounts before bedtime. It’s still photography–I can’t escape my love for it–but another type, per se. It’s like an obsessive streak I run headfirst into year after year. I plan to shoot film just to document life, for the love of it, the embedded nostalgia, so this Epson will be put to good (and long, ideally) use. I already have my chemicals and camera and film. And now I have a scanner, thanks to my kind and thoughtful beau.
The past week has been….well, it’s been. Not bad, but fast? It’s hard to describe my perception of time. I mostly spent the past week semi obsessing over R. R is a statistical programming language. I spent my night class on Monday programming in R. My brain was throbbing, but then I woke up the next day and began the next assignment. I’ve been working on it and just finished it. I felt a wave of delight as I cleanly formatted my 9 histograms using a psych library on R. It’s just fun. I never would have thought that I’d have found this fun. But I do.
I think the weeks go by relatively quickly, but the days can sometime feel long. I’m not much of a cliquey person, but I’ve noticed how much more fun the days are when I stick to the people I’m comfortable with. Like, it’s just a lot more enjoyable to talk to a certain circle of people who I feel closer to and am more interested in talking to. I’d rather sit by them, text them, spend breaks with them, stop in the middle of breaks to talk to, etc. I am feeling a bit more introspective as I consider the types of people I’m drawn to, and the types of people I’m not drawn to. I’m sure it reflects who I am as well.
Granted, we’re not quite cliquey. The girls I was around in high school formed a clique–there was the element of meanness, of leaving others out, of belittling outsiders. In this graduate program, we talk to each other a bit more, since that’s natural, but we also talk to other people, and we’re happy to include others. So in that sense, we’re more a nebulous group of friends operating within the cohort. And I think it’s natural to not feel comfortable talking to absolutely everyone, and it’s natural to not love or like everyone.
I also feel a little more in tune with my surroundings. Don’t feel like elaborating, but I’ll just throw it out there.