Accidental Date II

The best dates are accidental – the bookstore/coffeeshop you didn’t expect, the historic square you didn’t anticipate, the flea market you didn’t know about. Today had all three – the bookstore/coffeeshop, the historic square, the flea market. I had an itch to go somewhere, maybe a bookstore or coffeeshop, preferably somewhere with space, parking, novelties, … More Accidental Date II

On Long Distance

Sometimes I forget I was in a long distance relationship. I never mentioned it on my blog, despite having blogged throughout it all. I kept it vague, since it seemed personal. But since it’s in the past, it’s more of something I peer at curiously. Until now, I haven’t made a peep about it, but … More On Long Distance

Stream

We’re all the same type of people, loners who love and lone together, and there is no other relationship more fulfilling than knowing that you’re someone else’s person (not even in a romantic context) and they’re yours. … More Stream

Stories We Craft

One psychology article that stuck with me revolved around happiness and memory. How our happiness, or lack thereof, goes hand-in-hand with the stories we craft. The stories of our lives, the stories of ourselves. These stories help us create meaning and to make sense of the world around us. … More Stories We Craft

The Morning

Like a two year old, I’m starting to re-marvel at the mind, and how the people around us can only infer so much from the things we deliberately say. It’s like that quote from Murakami I always circle back to, whenever I feel tired or misunderstood or whatever: “I sometimes think that people’s hearts are like deep wells. Nobody knows what’s at the bottom. All you can do is imagine by what comes floating to the surface every once in a while.” … More The Morning

Daily Blog #474 : Of writing and telling people too much

I suppose in the end it’s a desperate struggle to make room for yourself in this world, by leaving behind stories, hoping they’ll suffice and be able to construct a near perfect image of our souls. A carbon dating for the experiences we’ll have buried. It’s terrifying, the yawning void. I used to be scared … More Daily Blog #474 : Of writing and telling people too much

Train Station

In a half awake haze, I saw myself sitting at a train station. It looked like the train station on 34st. I was sitting on the train bench outside, waiting for the train to arrive. Waiting and waiting. So I waited and waited and waited and waited. At some point, though, I realized that the … More Train Station

Whim

As I laid there, pretending to sleep, I realized that the best decisions of my life were all impulsive. Done on a whim. A day before, I would never have imagined that I’d do what I did, but I did. Without any planning. Without any rational. And yet it’d shape up to be one of … More Whim

Cherub

I’m like a small crying cherub filled with helium always on the verge of flying into the clouds and as if I’m on a string le beau will pull me down and remind me to be here with me now

Waiting

I dreamt I was waiting with my friends in a crowded tower. It reminded me of Sunday school. The feeling of waiting, the fear of your parents maybe not showing up. The cold rain and bleak quiet of waiting beside the principal. The relief when dad finally showed up. Something at work. Machine broke down. … More Waiting

Snapshot

If you could take a snapshot of a moment, here’s what you might see. Two sleeping guinea pigs, blissfuly oblivious to the din and movement around them. Latin music blubbering jovial through Spotify on our little blue speaker. Smell of steak butter rising thick into the air, dissipating into lake air, open windows.

King’s Cross

At 2:22 AM, the conclusion was that everything is okay. Everything is okay. Of course. When has anything been anything other than okay? I remind myself that this isn’t real, this isn’t real. That the things in our minds – they’re not real. And yet it can feel so real. Sometimes this reminder brings me … More King’s Cross

Big Time Feels

We stayed up tonight to watch movies. Big Time Adolescence was beautiful. Sad. I didn’t expect it to be. It echoed like a hodgepodge of books, friends, movies. Perks of Being a Wallflower. Catcher in the Rye. Us. And yet, it was, all at once, uniquely itself. There is something so striking and moving and … More Big Time Feels

Trouble

If I don’t write I might explode So I’m here to say that I’m writing and I haven’t exploded and I made my first happy acrylic pour this afternoon. I’ve been feeling a bit manic about art, this time, canvas paintings, acrylic pours. I’ve tried for years to do abstract art well but failed. I … More Trouble

Quirky

Wanting to do many creative things all at once. Share film. Shoot film. Develop film. Sort photography. Share photography. Make photography. Produce art. Sketch in book. Draw on iPad. Countless things I want to do, and then not doing any. Or maybe one of the ten things, but haphazardly. Slowly eeking out photos from over … More Quirky

Impermanence

It’s peaceful outside. Crickets are chirping. Or cicadas. Early calls of Spring. The sun has set. There’s the familiar sense of impermanence. I felt it acutely several years ago, though the scale of this impermanence is much less. I’m not going far at all. I know it will be the start of a new chapter. … More Impermanence